Heartrending

It's been a long time since I last published what I felt.

How should I start for this entry.

... should I let others know...

I feel heartrending.

Sad, sayu, syahdu but not syahdu di pagi raya OK.

How would one do when she is sad?
Tears running, feel gloomy, can't eat (of course I can't, I'm fasting, it's Ramadhan).
I don't like to be in sad situation even though I am attached to it. I'd pretend that I'm not sad. But can I hide that to myself? I can veil to others but not to myself.
I hate being sad. It's awful. It's horrible. My mood will be down.
But one thing I remember, a phrase or an advise from the wonderful Prof Muhaya during my last visit to her at PCSC. She said that we must remember that everytime we feel sad, be patient... and a reward from Almighty we get.

sad...patient...pahala
sad...patient...pahala

So simple yet it takes a strength to do that.

There's so easy to get a reward from Allah indeed. Patient is the most strong point.
Thanks Prof for giving me the motivation and making me remember always to what I should do when I sad.
By meeting her, I have one knowledge already... that I should have known long before but people like me always forget.

I remember her phrase till today.
Whatever happen in our life time, there's a hikmah lies inside. I believe!
Don't bother about what others gonna utter about and stare on you.


...and tears running on and on...

Be serene always my dear mommy, my big A son would say that to me, I know.